What a sudden urge you get to react when some is saying something contradictory to you, you can call it a clash of opinion or thinking. There would be many people around you who would have a different thinking than yours and would be talking and doing many ills behind your back to harm you just for the fun of it, or some personal interest they might have, thinking that their line of thought be implemented because that is the best according to them. Mind you! best according to them, it may be best for them, but it will not necessarily work for everybody else.
But the thing is what to do when you are in these kinds of situation or have to interact with these kind of people. What are the tactics these kind of people use in order to control others.
- They use FEAR as their foremost tool. They will try to instill some sort of fear inside you by showing you all the negative consequences , if you do not work according to their line of thought.
- They use SHAME to make you work according to them. They will try to instill shame inside you so that you can easily be manipulated.
- COMPARISON is used to manipulate your mind.
- They LIE about you behind your back and try to play mind games with you.
- When all these tactics don’t work then they start MALIGNING your image publicly to make you work according to their advantage.
“comparison” is a disease , one of the greatest disease. Your mother starts comparing you with other children, your father compares , your teacher compares, how well he is doing and you are not doing good at all.
From the very beginning you are being told to compare yourself with others. This is the greatest disease. I am just myself and you are just yourself. Do you compare a mango with an apple? You don’t compare. Each individual is unique and comparison is not possible.” -osho
The truth is you will find very few genuine , sensible , supportive and understanding people around you. 90% of the population is thriving on drama. They just love drama. Drama that gives meaning to their existence. If their is no drama they don’t feel alive. They just can’t exist without drama because they have not been thoughtful enough about the workings of their mind. FEAR makes them do all that. They are extremely fearful of life ,of other people , others happiness. They believe in lag. They think their is not enough around so somehow they have to manipulate, lie , steal , control and grab otherwise they will be left behind.These kind of people do not have consideration for other people’s thinking and feelings. All they think about is their point of view , disrespecting all other point of views that exist.
“when people can’t control you, they try to control how others see you, be patient in those situations and don’t react. The truth will eventually come out and the manipulator is always exposed.”
You already know it deep down inside you how it works, this will just act as a reminder. Ever heard of the old saying “as you sow ,so you reap”? Just like that if you sow seeds of discord , mistrust , envy , jealousy , manipulation , criticism , anger that is exactly what you will reap. You don’t harvest harmony , trust , appreciation , compassion , healthy relations , praise , peace of mind. What you are doing is coming back to you eventually.
So if you are caught up among this category of people , just keep calm and maintain your standard. What others are doing or thinking cannot harm you in the least if you don’t entertain what is their opinion. Because their opinion is theirs. That is what they want , it’s not about you. Don’t take anything personally ,just forgive them for their limited thinking, God has not been fair enough to give them a broader understanding. At best pray for them. Don’t even wish bad for them. But don’t let their negative opinions or behaviours affect you in the least. If you don’t like their company it’s not necessary for you to sit with them.
“LIFE is not about pleasing everyone, it is about hurting no one”
Cleanse yourself of all the ill feelings .You don’t have to feel fear, envy , anger , hatred , deceptive , manipulative , lying. These emotions affect only the one who feels it , it cannot do any harm to the person they are felt for. Believe that their is no lag , this is an abundant universe . Desire for balance and harmony. Once you cleanse your internal self of all the dirt of negativity, their is a beautiful power that will start emerging , which will direct your course of action. It will guide you ,counsel you , make you aware of your most authentic desires , bring you mental peace , bring you strength to face struggles , and bring into your life everything that is essential for you.
Start living in Faith , their is an intelligence that is governing the entire universe and its laws. It’s the highest intelligence and is not unjust in the least. You only get back what you are puttintg out , so start with thoughts of harmony and peace, don’t create discord or it will return to you guaranteed in some or the other form. Become more understanding of others. Don’t impose your way of life or opinions on others. Be accepting of others if they are not sowing discord in your life , but if they do, you have every right to change your circle and spend time with those people who value you and your presence.
“Your friends should motivate and inspire you. Your circle should be supportive.Quality over quantity always”
If you are true to yourself , believe you will always be taken care of. No matter what others have conspired behind your back , they cannot affect you in the least with their thinking and their lies. They are preparing a trap for themselves , give it sometime , eventually they will themselves fall in the trap. And you will be enjoying the benefits of peace , harmony , compassion , true friends. Just take care of your internal house the outer will be taken care of automatically. Live in Faith ,not in Fear. ‘You will always be taken care of’. Ameen.
kkhan 